Hey friend, good to have you with me, in this episode. Today I want to dive into your feelings and how to thrive with your feelings. If I were to ask you now, how do you feel? What would be your response? Sad, fearful, happy, lonely, bored and on and on. If I were to ask you this same question on another day, I wouldn’t be surprised if you gave me another answer. In fact I will be expecting a different feeling. What does that tell you? Feeling is a state. A state of the mind! The mind is a powerful thing. You are transformed or you are defeated through your mind and it is so easy to be wrapped up in our feelings. I remember when my daughter came back from school one day and I asked her how her day was. She said to me I felt lonely at play time. I didn’t have anyone to play with? How many times have we felt powerless to our feelings like this. We are in a certain place and feel so bored or we are in a roller coaster and feel very fearful. Our feelings are valid, they really are, because they are an interpretation of our state of mind. We have feelings because we are alive. Living and breathing humans! However while your feelings are valid, you are still in control. Your feelings are not you, you are not your feelings. They are data! Data as to your state of mind. The question is what will you do with this data? Numb it or face it? Do not try to numb it, that’s how all forms of addiction and abuse come to play which eventually can lead to depression. I want to challenge you my friend to face your feelings; work with it to renew your mind. That’s data. Let me repeat, your feelings are data. It is ok to be alone sometimes, but feeling lonely is a state of the mind. That’s data from the mind. Feeling lonely can be tied to your worth. Knowing your worth is very key to dealing with your state of mind. How do you feel about yourself when you are by yourself? When you function from the place of worth, you realise that you are enough as you are! You already have all that pertains to life and godly living, you have it already. You do not need anyone to complete you. You are complete already. Instead you have something to give your world. Your world needs you! You are invaluable! "valuable beyond estimation", so precious that one cannot assign a price to it. You cannot be rated! So challenge the feeling of loneliness with the truth about your existence. You are worthy. Now when you function from the place of being worthy, and you are faced with a feeling e.g loneliness, you have a choice, acknowledge that feeling and know that sometimes you are bound to feel lonely; or if you decide you don’t want to feel this way often, then from a place of worth choose to reach out to someone, remembering that you are worthy of having a friend. That person is not doing you a favour being your friend. It should be a mutual feeling. If you decide you are in the wrong place to make friends, that’s ok but don’t tie being alone to your worth. You are worthy whether you are alone or not. Oh I wish everyone will know how worthy they are, there would be less hate in the world trying to put people down, thinking that they are holding your shine. There is abundant space in this world for my light and your light to shine cos we each carry light, we are made with purpose – fearfully and wonderfully made.
My feelings, the data from my mind is not me! I would use this data to make better choices and if I don’t want to keep experiencing that particular feeling I would work on my mind to renew my thinking – my thinking is the thoughts I am giving to the situation. A quote I have heard, says there is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so. What thoughts have you attached to that feeling? Do you think that because you felt sad that means there is something wrong with you? No it is just data that says something that happened or what someone said has made you feel sad. Well I can’t control people’s action but I can control my reaction. It’s ok that I feel sad so after acknowledging my feelings and thinking about what I could have done differently or what I could learn from the situation to make my life better, I go into my self care tool box and choose something that would make me relax my mind. It could be talking to a friend, having a massage, having a good old sleep, taking a walk and so on. Renew your mind and change the thought about it.
So for my daughter, she felt lonely and therefore sad. I acknowledged her feelings cos it is valid and we talked about what happened, and came up with options on how to deal with that feeling if it happens again in that certain situation. Knowing that she doesn’t have to be helpless with her feelings was key for her in that moment. I will end with this food for thought, What do you believe that is true that really isn’t? What is your mindset or foundation in believing? It is the beliefs we have about our feelings that makes it good or bad, not the feelings itself.
Until next time my friend, its your host Sylvia Nwokolo reminding you to Keep winning, thriving and shining. God bless.
Sylvia Nwokolo is a Wellbeing Transformation Coach and Author.
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